Many months ago, sometime last summer, Aaron and I were making the most of a very long drive by designing our utopia. In it we thought about who, where, how, religion, politics, government, education, community services, etc. One thing we discussed was same-sex relationships, specifically same-sex marriage. It was an easier topic with just the two of us, in the safety of our own private car, and in the context of an imaginary civilization. I gave the subject a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that years ago marriage was corrupted when it became the blanket term for any two people who have entered into a committed relationship. Originally marriage was defined as a covenant relationship between 3 people (The Husband, The Wife, and Heavenly Father). How simple today would be if the original definition was still the only definition. I know lots of people who are "married" although they don't invite God into their relationship, and they are wonderful people who love each other deeply. I'm not judging their relationship or their choice in anyway. But what if years ago when the first couple was "married" outside of faith they had called it a civil union and had given them all of the legal rights and privileges as a couple married in a covenant with God? Last week certainly wouldn't have been necessary in the same way, and so many people who have been hurt or discriminated against on both sides of the issue may have been better off. This is just my opinion of what could have been, or what could have been avoided.
Everyone who knows me also knows that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I do 100% agree and support the biblical definition of marriage, that it is between and Man, a Woman, and God and the teaching of the church on this subject. I also believe in the law of chastity outside of this type of marriage (even if that means your entire life). But I don't pick and choose which doctrines to believe and follow, and thus I also believe in loving my neighbor. I don't know what it is like to be homosexual but I do have some homosexual friends and acquaintances. I have valued these people and have great respect for them as individuals. As with anything, my struggles and sins are my own and while I don't like them I wouldn't trade them for anyone else's.
When I joined the church a dear friend asked me some very pointed questions. I have always loved this friend and have respected her as one of the most intelligent as well as compassionate people I have ever met, and she is very liberal. She asked if I believe all the teachings of the church, or just most of them? I told her all of them, and she then asked about gay-marriage as well as gender identity issues. I wasn't prepared to answer her and I hadn't previously thought about this subject in great detail. I remembered a story I had heard about a girl who had been born both physically and mentally handicapped. Although she couldn't walk, or do things other children did she was a great source of joy to her family. One night her father had a dream, he was in the premortal existence and had just heard then plan for our salvation/happiness. We were all going to get the opportunity to come to Earth and be born. We would have challenging lives, but they would prepare us to return to our Father in Heaven and receive our eternal heritage. We were all so excited. We were organized into families and right there, before even being born we were told all of the challenges we would face. As he stood amongst those who would be his family, they were asked to volunteer for various challenges. "This individual will be born to a body that isn't strong or healthy. They will never walk, or lift their arms on their own. They will never be able to communicate with others by talking. They will never be married or a parent. They will never be independant." The list went on and then it was time for a volunteer. From the group stepped forward his daughter, "I will do it". She accepted a life that none of us would ever choose for ourselves today. Her father woke from the dream with a new appreciation for his daughter as well as our existence and our journey in this life. The story touched me, and has stayed with me all these years and that day when my friend asked it was that story that was impressed upon my heart. I believe we came to this life knowing we would face challenges and be tempted. Some people face physical challenges such as health issues or handicaps, others face challenges that are emotional or spiritual such as addiction, poverty, lust, selfishness, loneliness, anger, depression, loss, etc. But we all have our own challenges. I don't know why someone is given the challenge of same-sex attraction, and there is alot about it now and with an eternal perspective that I don't know, I don't have perfect knowledge of all things. I do know that Heavenly Father knows all things and I know he loves all his children and wants them to be happy. It was God who gave us free agency, the right to choose and act for ourselves. This is above all our most cherished possession as human beings. I choose to follow my savior Jesus Christ and to respect marriage as it is defined in the gospel, but I respect others right to choose a different path. And for this reason, I don't judge or discriminate, not even for a second, and I sympathize with and for these individuals.
So why don't I support same-sex marriage? It is my believe that we came here for a purpose. That purpose is to have the experiences that will prepare us to return home to live for eternity with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. To do so we need to be perfected and this life is part of that process. In addition to the testimonies of the prophets throughout the history of the world Heavenly Father sent us his son Jesus Christ to be our perfect example. The Gospel is clear, Marriage was defined by God and is a sacred covenant entered into between and Man, Woman, and God (and this will forever be the only definition accepted by our Heavenly Father). I know this is his plan for us and for this reason I can't support the same-sex marriage cause, just like I can't support any other cause that is not in accordance with the teachings of Christ.
It saddens me to see the moral decline in our world today and the hatred that is in the world, on both sides of this topic as well as on other topics. I hope we all know and remember that we are all children of the same God and He loves each of us, and we should love each other (even if we disagree). The Gospel is a Gospel of Love. The Savior faced great discrimination, intolerance, and hate during his life but he never returned it with the same horrible behavior or feelings. He loved everyone, even the sinner (they were all sinners). Aren't we all sinners? He showed them kindness and love, but he never did so in a way that twisted/compromised his own believes. This is what I believe we are called to do ourselves. Show love and kindness, but do so while still holding steadfast to (and being an example of) what you know is right.
ps. These are my personal opinions, please don't assign them to any other individual or group and please feel free to read them or not, like them or not.... I won't be offended either way. But I hope you can respect that it is my right to have these beliefs, and I respect the right of others to be entitled to their beliefs/opinions whatever they may be.
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